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「BEC寫(xiě)作」解析這封郵件有何不妥之處
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From: Henry.Lim@presto.co.my Date: 25:7:1-16:06:29 To: shirley@shirleytaylortraining.com CC: Subject: HELLO!!!
hi Shirley Hope things r well with u, its good 2 know that u will be back in malaysia again in nov to hold your seminar on effective biz writing. PLS LET ME HAVE SOME FREE DATE while u r over here. Some bookstores r interested in a talk cum singing event. I hope u will agree to take part. tnks & rgs Harry |
下面，試著指出其中的問(wèn)題并改寫(xiě)~
[a1]主題盡量用5個(gè)左右的詞來(lái)總結(jié)寫(xiě)信的目的，要求的行動(dòng)之類(lèi)的內(nèi)容。不要用沒(méi)有意義的詞，也不要全大寫(xiě)，更不要使用過(guò)多標(biāo)點(diǎn)。
[a2]一定注意開(kāi)頭大寫(xiě)。此外，專(zhuān)有詞語(yǔ)的大寫(xiě)也要注意，如國(guó)家名。
[a3]可以用于短信，商務(wù)類(lèi)郵件不應(yīng)使用。一般性詞匯請(qǐng)勿縮寫(xiě)或簡(jiǎn)寫(xiě)。除非是雙方已知的專(zhuān)有名詞。
[a4]Its 和it is 是有區(qū)別的。 [a5]如果不是指日期，最好不要縮寫(xiě)。
[a6]用很多大寫(xiě)有一種大喊大叫之感，木有禮貌。 [a7]Cum 連詞，意指“和、及”
[a8]寫(xiě)錯(cuò)。應(yīng)是signing。 [a9]Thanks and regards
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Subject: Free Date in Malaysia Hi Shirley Hope things are well with you, it’s good to know that you will be back in Malaysia again in November to hold your seminar on Effective Business Writing. Please let me have some free date while you are over here. By the way, some bookstores are interested in a talk and signing event. I hope you will agree to take part.
Thanks and regards |
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Subject: Book signing in Malaysia (注：標(biāo)題需要依據(jù)的Smart 原則——Specific 具體/Meaningful 有意義/Appropriate 恰當(dāng)/Relevant 相關(guān)Thoughtful 體貼周到) Hi Shirley/Hello Shirley
I was pleased to hear that you will be back in Malaysia again in November to hold your seminar on Effective Business Writing. Some bookstores are interested in asking you to do a talk and signing event. I hope you will agree to take part. Please let me have some free dates while you are over here. And I will make all the arrangements.
See you soon.(注：使用恰當(dāng)?shù)慕Y(jié)束語(yǔ)Complimentary close；regards指“致以問(wèn)候”，稍顯乏味) Harry |
聲明：本文系滬江英語(yǔ)原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容，轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處。本文僅代表作者個(gè)人觀點(diǎn)，僅供參考。如有不妥之處，歡迎指正。
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