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英語情感美文
心靈雞湯 七夕的愛情
Chinese Valentine's Day (or “Qi Qiao Jie ”) falls on the seventh day of the seventh month of the lunar calendar (August according to the Gregorian calendar). As is the custom elsewhere in the world, this is a day devoted to romance.
In China, this day is also known as “The Begging Festival” or “The Daughter's Festival.” It is an important day for girls. In the evening, girls prepare melons and fruit before worship and prayers for a good marriage.
There are many stories as to the origins of Chinese Valentine's Day, and one of them involves the Emperor of Heaven and his seven daughters.
The love story
The seventh daughter of the Emperor of Heaven and an orphaned cowherd were separated by the Emperor; the girl was forced to move to the star Vega (織女星,天琴座中的最亮的那顆星)and the cowherd, to the star Altair(牛郎星, 牽牛星). They were only allowed to meet once a year on the day of seventh day of seventh lunar month - Chinese Valentine's Day.
The story begins with the handsome but poor orphan who lived with his elder brother and sister-in-law. After his parents passed away, the boy's brother inherited the house and land. But all he had was an old ox. As a cowherd, the boy had to work the farm fields with his ox everyday. His daily life routine resembled the story of Cinderella (《灰姑娘》).
The seventh daughter of the Emperor, also known as the Weaving Maid, was good at handcrafting, especially weaving clothes. The Emperor particularly appreciated her skills of weaving clouds with rainbows to make the world more beautiful.
The cowherd's ox, which was actually an immortal from heaven, made mistakes in heaven and was reincarnated as an ox to toil on earth. One day, the ox suddenly said to the cowherd: “You are a nice person. If you want to get married, go to the brook and your wish will come true.”
Love Is Not Like Merchandise
愛情不是商品
A reader in Florida, apparently bruised by some personal experience, writes in to complain, "If I steal a nickel's worth of merchandise, I am a thief and punished; but if I steal the love of another's wife, I am free."
佛羅里達州的一位讀者顯然是在個人經歷上受過創傷, 他寫信來抱怨道: “如果我偷走了五分錢的商品, 我就是個賊, 要受到懲罰, 但是如果我偷走了他人妻子的愛情, 我沒事兒。”
This is a prevalent misconception in many people's minds---that love, like merchandise, can be "stolen". Numerous states, in fact, have enacted laws allowing damages for "alienation of affections".
這是許多人心目中普遍存在的一種錯誤觀念——愛情, 像商品一樣, 可以 “偷走”。實際上,許多州都頒布法令,允許索取“情感轉讓”賠償金。
But love is not a commodity; the real thing cannot be bought, sold, traded or stolen. It is an act of the will, a turning of the emotions, a change in the climate of the personality.
但是愛情并不是商品;真情實意不可能買到,賣掉,交換,或者偷走。愛情是志愿的行動,是感情的轉向,是個性發揮上的變化。
When a husband or wife is "stolen" by another person, that husband or wife was already ripe for the stealing, was already predisposed toward a new partner. The "love bandit" was only taking what was waiting to be taken, what wanted to be taken.
當丈夫或妻子被另一個人“偷走”時,那個丈夫或妻子就已經具備了被偷走的條件,事先已經準備接受新的伴侶了。這位“愛匪”不過是取走等人取走、盼人取走的東西。
We tend to treat persons like goods. We even speak of the children "belonging" to their parents. But nobody "belongs" to anyone else. Each person belongs to himself, and to God. Children are entrusted to their parents, and if their parents do not treat them properly, the state has a right to remove them from their parents' trusteeship.
我們往往待人如物。我們甚至說孩子“屬于”父母。但是誰也不“屬于”誰。人都屬于自己和上帝。孩子是托付給父母的,如果父母不善待他們,州政府就有權取消父母對他們的托管身份。
Most of us, when young, had the experience of a sweetheart being taken from us by somebody more attractive and more appealing. At the time, we may have resented this intruder---but as we grew older, we recognized that the sweetheart had never been ours to begin with. It was not the intruder that "caused" the break, but the lack of a real relationship.
我們多數人年輕時都有過戀人被某個更有誘惑力、更有吸引力的人奪去的經歷。在當時,我們興許怨恨這位不速之客---但是后來長大了,也就認識到了心上人本來就不屬于我們。并不是不速之客“導致了”決裂,而是缺乏真實的關系。
On the surface, many marriages seem to break up because of a "third party". This is, however, a psychological illusion. The other woman or the other man merely serves as a pretext for dissolving a marriage that had already lost its essential integrity.
從表面上看,許多婚姻似乎是因為有了“第三者”才破裂的。然而這是一種心理上的幻覺。另外那個女人,或者另外那個男人,無非是作為借口,用來解除早就不是完好無損的婚姻罷了。
Nothing is more futile and more self-defeating than the bitterness of spurned love, the vengeful feeling that someone else has "come between" oneself and a beloved. This is always a distortion of reality, for people are not the captives or victims of others---they are free agents, working out their own destinies for good or for ill.
因失戀而痛苦,因別人“插足”于自己與心上人之間而圖報復,是最沒有出息、最自作自受的樂。這種事總是歪曲了事實真相,因為誰都不是給別人當俘虜或犧牲品——人都是自由行事的,不論命運是好是壞,都由自己來作主。
But the rejected lover or mate cannot afford to believe that his beloved has freely turned away from him--- and so he ascribes sinister or magical properties to the interloper. He calls him a hypnotist or a thief or a home-breaker. In the vast majority of cases, however, when a home is broken, the breaking has begun long before any "third party" has appeared on the scene.
但是,遭離棄的情人或配偶無法相信她的心上人是自由地背離他的——因而他歸咎于插足者心術不正或迷人有招。他把他叫做催眠師、竊賊或破壞家庭的人。然而,從大多數事例看,一個家的破裂,是早在什么“第三者”出現之前就開始了的。
包容一切的愛情
弗里達·布賴特說過:“只有在歌劇中,人們才會為愛而死。” 的確,你不會因為愛一個人而死。有人會因為得不到愛而死,可從未有人因被愛而死。
Freda Bright says, "Only in opera do people die of love." It's true. You really can't love somebody to death. I've known people to die from no love, but I've never known anyone to be loved to death. We just can't love one another enough.
A heart-warming story tells of a woman who finally decided to ask her boss for a raise in salary. All day she felt nervous and apprehensive. Late in the afternoon she summoned the courage to approach her employer. To her delight, the boss agreed to a raise.
The woman arrived home that evening to a beautiful table set with their best dishes. Candles were softly glowing. Her husband had come home early and prepared a festive meal. She wondered if someone from the office had tipped him off, or... did he just somehow know that she would not get turned down?
She found him in the kitchen and told him the good news. They embraced and kissed, then sat down to the wonderful meal. Next to her plate the woman found a beautifully lettered note. It read, "Congratulations, darling! I knew you'd get the raise! These things will tell you how much I love you."
Following the supper, her husband went into the kitchen to clean up. She noticed that a second card had fallen from his pocket. Picking it off the floor, she read, "Don't worry about not getting the raise! You deserve it anyway! These things will tell you how much I love you."
Someone has said that the measure of love is when you love without measure. What this man feels for his spouse is total acceptance and love, whether she succeeds or fails. His love celebrates her victories and soothes her wounds. He stands with her, no matter what life throws in their direction.
Upon receiving the Nobel Peace Prize, Mother Teresa said, "What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family." And love your friends. Love them without measure.
愛情像斷臂要敢于再次嘗試
"But what if I break my arm again?" my five year-old daughter asked, her lower lip trembling. I knelt holding onto her bike and looked her right in the eyes. I knew how much she wanted to learn to ride. How often she felt left out when her friends pedaled by our house. Yet ever since she'd fallen off her bike and broken her arm, she'd been afraid.
"Oh honey," I said. "I don't think you'll break another arm."
"But I could, couldn't I?"
"Yes," I admitted, and found myself struggling for the right thing to say. At times like this, I wished I had a partner to turn to. Someone who might help find the right words to make my little girl's problems disappear. But after a disastrous marriage and a painful divorce, I'd welcomed the hardships of being a single parent and had been adamant in telling anyone who tried to fix me up that I was terminally single.
"I don't think I want to ride," she said and got off her bike.
We walked away and sat down beside a tree.
"Don't you want to ride with your friends?" I asked.
"And I thought you were hoping to start riding your bike to school next year," I added.
"I was," she said, her voice almost a quiver.
"You know, hon," I said. "Most everything you do comes with risks. You could get a broken arm in a car wreck and then be afraid to ever ride in a car again. You could break your arm jumping rope. You could break your arm at gymnastics. Do you want to stop going to gymnastics?"
"No," she said. And with a determined spirit, she stood up and agreed to try again. I held on to the back of her bike until she found the courage to say, "Let's go!"
I spent the rest of the afternoon at the park watching a very brave little girl overcome a fear, and congratulating myself for being a self-sufficient single parent.
As we walked home, pushing the bike as we made our way along the sidewalk, she asked me about a conversation she'd overheard me having with my mother the night before.
"Why were you and grandma arguing last night?"
My mother was one of the many people who constantly tried to fix me up. How many times had I told her "no" to meeting the Mr. Perfect she picked out for me. She just knew Steve was the man for me.
"It's nothing," I told her.
She shrugged. "Grandma said she just wanted you to find someone to love."
"What grandma wants is for some guy to break my heart again," I snapped, angry that my mother had said anything about this to my daughter.
"But Mom."
"You're too young to understand," I told her.
She was quiet for the next few minutes. Then she looked up and in a small voice gave me something to think about.
"So I guess love isn't like a broken arm."
Unable to answer, we walked the rest of the way in silence. When I got home, I called my mother and scolded her for talking about this to my daughter. Then I did what I'd seen my brave little girl do that very afternoon. I let go and agreed to meet Steve.
Steve was the man for me. We married less than a year later. It turned out mother and my daughter were right.
中文:
“可我要再把胳膊給摔斷了怎么辦?”我五歲的女兒問道,她的下唇顫抖著。我跪著抓穩了她的自行車,直視著她的眼睛。我很明白她非常想學會騎車。多少次了,她的朋友們踩車經過我們家時,她感到給拋下。可自從上次她從自行車上摔下來,把胳膊給摔斷之后,她對車便敬而遠之。
“噢,親愛的。”我說,“我不認為你會把另一只胳膊給摔斷的。”
“但有可能,不是嗎?”
“是的,”我承認道,使勁想找出些道理來說。每逢此時,我便希望自己有人可依靠。一個可以說出正確道理、幫我的小女兒解決難題的人。可經過一場可悲的婚姻和痛苦的離婚后,我傾向于當個單身母親,并且我還態度堅決地告訴每個要給我介紹對象的人說我要抱定終身不嫁。
“我不想學了。”她說著,下了自行車。
我們走到一旁,坐在一顆樹旁。
“難道你不想和朋友們一起騎車嗎?”我問。
“而且我還以為你希望明年踩著車回去上學呢。”我補充道。
“我是希望。”她說,聲音有點顫。
“知道嗎,寶貝。”我說,“很多要做的事情都是帶有風險的。汽車失事也會折斷胳膊,那么你就算再坐在車上也會害怕。跳繩也有可能折斷胳膊。做體操也有可能折斷胳膊。你連體操也想不練了嗎?”
“不想。”她說。然后她毅然站起,同意再試試。我扶著車尾,直到她有勇氣說:“放手!”
后來一個下午,我就在公園里看著這個有無比勇氣的小女孩克服了恐懼,我恭喜自己成了可以獨當一面的單身家長。
回家時,我們推著自行車順著人行道走,她問起昨天晚上我和我媽*一個對話,那是她無意中聽到的。
“你昨晚為什么和姥姥吵?”
我媽媽總是想安排我去相親的許多人中的一個。我多次拒絕去看她給我找的合適對象。她知道史蒂文和我會合得來。
“沒什么事。”我告訴她。
她聳聳肩。“姥姥說她只不過想讓你找個人來愛。”
“姥姥想再找個人來傷我的心。”我厲聲說道,很生氣媽媽把這件事跟我的女兒說了。
“可媽媽。”
“你還太小,不明白。”我對她說。
接下來好幾分鐘她都很安靜。然后她抬起頭,小小聲地說了句令我深思不已的話。
“那么我猜愛情和斷胳膊不是一回事了。”
我無言以對,余下的路我們在沉默中走完了。回到家后,我給媽媽打了個電話,責備她不該和我女兒談論這話題。接著我做了一件那個下午看到我那勇敢的小女兒所做過的事。我松口答應和史蒂文見面。
史蒂文正是我的合適人選。大約一年前我們結了婚。結果證明我媽媽和女兒是正確的。
維系永恒的婚姻與愛情
Challenges to a Lasting Relationship
"Of all the misconceptions about love, the most powerful and pervasive (普遍深入的)is the belief that falling in love is love or at least one of the manifestations (顯現,表示)of love." -- M. SCOTT PECK
People who are married or in committed relationships are healthier, wealthier, and happier. So why do more than 60 percent of marriages end in divorce? Why has the national divorce rate climbed more than 200 percent in the last thirty years? And why are fewer people getting married today than ever before?
The answers to these questions are plentiful, but the main reason is simple. It"s easy to "fall" in love, but very few people know how to stay in love. Even though staying in love is our "smartest" choice all the way around! Recent studies on marriage prove it"s one of the major ingredients (成分,因素)in life-long success for men and women. "It lengthens life, substantially boosts (推進)physical and emotional health, and raises income over that of single or divorced people or those who live together," reported an article in the New York Times. Marriage has also been found to boost happiness, reduce the degree of depression, and provide protection from sexually transmitted diseases.
So let"s wake up, make up, and turn this trend around! One of the most startling (令人吃驚的)pieces of evidence that shows people are not in touch with (了解。。。的情況)what"s really going on in their partnerships is the fact that the majority of people who file (v.提出申請)for divorce say they didn"t think there was a relationship-threatening problem just six months prior to breaking up. Another shocker is that most couples wait six years or more to seek professional help when their relationship is in danger. By the time they do wake up and smell the coffee, it"s often too late.
Truly there is no reason to resign yourself to a bad relationship ? whether you"re dating or married. Rather than changing partners and ending up this same predicament (困境)again, you can learn to have a fabulous relationship with the partner you already have! I strongly encourage you to make the relationship you have work, because there is a higher rate of divorce and adultery in second marriages.
Getting rid of your partner does not get rid of the problem, because half of the "problem" is yours. You can walk out on your marriage, but you can"t run away from yourself, no matter how hard you try! Rather than blaming each other, couples can learn how to work as a team and coach each other through the troubled times and power struggles. To do this, you must create a "safe" relationship so you can express your needs and fears and effectively resolve anger and conflict. More relationships break up because people don"t know how to validate (驗證)each other (that frustration escalates to become anger) than for any other reason. This is truly a shame, because the skills for "fighting fair" are very easy to master with just a little practice and patience.
One of the biggest causes of unresolved anger between people is a lack of understanding. Men and women have different strengths and weaknesses, different ways of expressing ourselves, and different "childhood wounds" that we"re trying to heal. While it may seem like we"re from different planets we are actually very much alike when it comes to our need and desire for love and intimacy. We only behave differently in our quests for (追求,探索)closeness. Stop doing what you think is "fair" or "right" and start doing what works! It"s not about "working harder" it"s about "working smarter".
母愛的真諦
Time is running out1 for my friend. While we are sitting at lunch she casually mentions she and her husband are thinking of starting a family. “We're taking a survey,”she says, half-joking. “Do you think I should have a baby?”
“It will change your life,” I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral2. “I know,”she says, “no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous3 holidays...”
But that's not what I mean at all. I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional4 wound so raw5 that she will be vulnerable6 forever.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without thinking: “What if that had been MY child?” That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured7 nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated8 she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive9 level of a bear protecting her cub10.
I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed11 by motherhood. She might arrange for child care, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting, and she will think her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline12 to keep from running home, just to make sure her child is all right.
I want my friend to know that every decision will no longer be routine. That a five-year-old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at a restaurant will become a major dilemma. The issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester13 may be lurking14 in the lavatory15. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess16 herself constantly17 as a mother.
Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually18 she will shed the added weight19 of pregnancy20, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her own life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. She would give it up in a moment to save her offspring21, but will also begin to hope for more years—not to accomplish her own dreams—but to watch her children accomplish theirs.
I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration22 of seeing your child learn to hit a ball. I want to capture23 for her the belly laugh24 of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it hurts.
My friend's look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. “You'll never regret it,” I say finally. Then, squeezing25 my friend's hand, I offer a prayer for her and me and all of the mere mortal women who stumble26 their way into this holiest of callings.
母愛的真諦:母親永遠不會后悔!
時光任苒,朋友已經老大不小了。我們坐在一起吃飯的時候,她漫不經心地提到她和她的丈夫正考慮要小孩。 “我們正在做一項調查,”她半開玩笑地說。“你覺得我應該要個小孩嗎?”
“他將改變你的生活。”我小心翼翼地說道,盡量使語氣保持客觀。“這我知道。”她答道,“周末睡不成懶覺,再也不能隨心所欲休假了……”
但我說的絕非這些。我注視著朋友,試圖整理一下自己的思緒。我想讓她知道她永遠不可能在分娩課上學到的東西。我想讓她知道:分娩的有形傷疤可以愈合,但是做母親的情感傷痕卻永遠如新,她會因此變得十分脆弱。
我想告誡她:做了母親后,每當她看報紙時就會情不自禁地聯想:“如果那件事情發生在我的孩子身上將會怎樣啊!”每一次飛機失事、每一場住宅火災都會讓她提心吊膽。看到那些忍饑挨餓的孩子們的照片時,她會思索:世界上還有什么比眼睜睜地看著自己的孩子餓死更慘的事情呢?我打量著她精修細剪的指甲和時尚前衛的衣服,心里想到:不管她打扮多么考究,做了母親后,她會變得像護崽的母熊那樣原始而不修邊幅。
我覺得自己應該提醒她,不管她在工作上投入了多少年,一旦做了母親,工作就會脫離常規。她自然可以安排他人照顧孩子,但說不定哪天她要去參加一個非常重要的商務會議,卻忍不住想起寶寶身上散發的甜甜乳香。她不得不拼命克制自己,才不致于為了看看孩子是否安然無羔而中途回家。
我想告訴朋友,有了孩子后,她將再也不能按照慣例做出決定。在餐館,5歲的兒子想進男廁而不愿進女廁將成為擺在她眼前的一大難題:她將在兩個選擇之間權衡一番:尊重孩子的獨立和性別意識,還是讓他進男廁所冒險被潛在的兒童性騷擾者侵害?任憑她在辦公室多么果斷,作為母親,她仍經常事后后悔自己當時的決定。
注視著我的這位漂亮的朋友,我想讓她明確地知道,她最終會恢復到懷孕前的體重,但是她對自己的感覺已然不同。她現在視為如此重要的生命將隨著孩子的誕生而變得不那么寶貴。為了救自己的孩子,她時刻愿意獻出自己的生命。但她也開始希望多活一些年頭,不是為了實現自己的夢想,而是為了看著孩子們美夢成真。
我想向朋友形容自己看到孩子學會擊球時的喜悅之情。我想讓她留意寶寶第一次觸摸狗的絨毛時的捧腹大笑。我想讓她品嘗快樂,盡管這快樂真實得令人心痛。
朋友的表情讓我意識到自己已經是熱淚盈眶。“你永遠不會后悔,”我最后說。然后緊緊地握住朋友的手,為她、為自己、也為每一位艱難跋涉、準備響應母親職業神圣的召喚的平凡女性獻上自己的祈禱。
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